Like exercise, I feel the ache when I don’t do it and notice the difference in my soul when I do_Pam Luschei quote for Begin Within: A Gratitude Series

My practice of gratitude began with a pen and a journal over 25 years ago. Over time, it’s developed and grown into more than just a list of what I was thankful for. Gratitude has become part of my lifestyle. Like exercise, I feel the ache when I don’t do it and notice the difference in my soul when I do.

My early days of practicing gratitude sounded like a grocery list. I wrote things like, “Thank you, Lord, for my husband, my children, my friends, food, water, my bed, my car, and my job”—all things I needed and enjoyed. It was like a “thank you note” to God.

The current season I’m in has me thanking God not just for what He gives me, but who He is. Last week I was able to hear Anne Graham Lotz speak. She is a seasoned woman of God I’ve followed over the years. After a diagnosis of breast cancer four years ago she went through multiple rounds of chemotherapy. During the 30 minute drive to her appointment, she would go through the alphabet and assign each letter a name of God: “A” was Almighty, “B” was Beautiful, “C” was Comforter, and on she went. During a crisis we can be reminded of who God is even when we don’t understand the what or why.

The current season I’m in has me thanking God not just for what He gives me, but who He is_Pam Luschei quote for Begin Within: A Gratitude Series

Gratitude in the darkest hour

Oddly enough I found myself being grateful in the darkest time of my life. In January 2018, my husband and I went on a ten-day missions trip to Costa Rica. We returned late on a Monday night, and Tuesday morning I started unpacking and doing the laundry. My husband and I had just had a conversation, reflecting on the trip and making plans to go to lunch.

I left the room and came back to find him sleeping, or so I thought. I called his name and then cried out to Jesus. I called 911 and immediately contacted my two adult children and waited for the ambulance to arrive.

The ambulance came and took my husband to the hospital, while my son rushed home to get me. We met my daughter in the hall of the ER where the doctor came out to usher us into the room where my husband laid. The staff was still working on him, but I knew he had already gone to be with Jesus.

The next morning after barely sleeping, I stumbled to my chair and journal with my coffee and sat there, in disbelief, shock, and horror of what just happened. I took my pen and let it touch the paper.

In my state of being wordless, I wrote “Lord, you were there in the hospital. The chaplain, Edgar, who was from Costa Rica was on duty. Thank you for the people who came to surround us, thank you for people who brought food, Thank you for friends who showed up.” I was in the most gut-wrenching place I had ever been but found I could be grateful not for what happened, but for how God was demonstrating His presence to me.

In my state of being wordless, I wrote “Lord, you were there in the hospital"_Pam Luschei quote for Begin Within: A Gratitude Series

An unlikely duo

The next weeks and months were like coming out of a hurricane and assessing the damage that had been done. I would look around trying to find remnants of my life before. I would write it down in my journal and began to see a pattern.

I found I could be grateful when I looked around and saw ways God walked with me through the valley. Amidst the overwhelming grief, I would go on a walk with my dog and notice the birds and the flowers. Beauty would give me hope. I would receive a card or a text from someone who was praying for me. Comfort would settle on me. God’s Word would reflect my state of being. Words would describe my grief.

Grief and gratitude seem like an unlikely duo, but I continue to live in the presence of both. Practicing gratitude helps us see beyond what happens to us so we have eyes to look around and see God in the midst of us.

Meet Pam Luschei

Pam Luschei, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, speaker, published writer, and Bible study teacher, writes about grief and gratitude.

Pam Luschei has been helping individuals for over twenty-five years as a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She has taught small group Bible studies for over twelve years offering encouragement, teaching and comfort to women. She’s been a featured speaker at her church and recently spoke at the San Diego Rescue Mission.

She has been a guest blogger for several national ministries such as Nothing is Wasted Ministries and Widow’s Might.

She has been published in the book, Sweet Tea for the Soul: Comforting, Real-life Stories for Grieving Hearts by DaySpring. In October of this past year she was published in the Washington Post.

When she’s not working, she enjoys walking, reading, writing, drinking coffee and being with her two adult children and taking her son’s dog, Murphy, to the park.

Where to find her . . .

Begin Within is a series to inspire a year-round lifestyle of gratitude that will impact not only your own life, but the lives of your neighbors as well. Gratitude is a theme we talk about often around here because it ties so closely into other missional living rhythms. Practicing gratitude reminds to keep our hearts soft and expectant and our eyes open. Therefore, the more we embrace gratitude, the easier it becomes to truly see our neighbors and where we can join what God is already doing in our neighborhoods.

If you would like to contribute to Begin Within, you can find the submission guidelines here.

Creating Ripples

If you would like to cultivate rhythms in addition to gratitude that will empower you live on mission in your neighborhood, check out Cultivating a Missional Life: A 30-Day Devotional to Gently Help You Open Your Heart, Home, and Life to Your Neighbors. This small book will help you make a big impact in your neighborhood as you learn to let missional living flow from the inside out. Get the 30-day missional living challenge free when you purchase the book.