Cultivate Ripple-Effect Gratitude by Asking This One Powerful Question
I’m still chiding myself for using a less-expensive chalk paint. The table is small, and I wanted a color I may never use elsewhere, so I deemed it worth the risk. But this paint did not sand silky smooth, leaving curls of dust hanging in the air. It wouldn’t budge, and unfortunately, I’d already layered it thick. I’m stubborn enough to sweat for hours trying to make the paint that dried in runs down the mission-style ends less obvious.
My frustration with the paint doesn’t end there. The table’s surface is somehow both sticky and slightly squeaky, far from the glass-smooth finish of my other chalk paint projects.
And then there’s the dark wax. The characteristic aged look won’t remain intact because the wax never absorbed into the paint. Wax lines that look like a toddler attacked with black pen regularly appear. Wherever I don’t touch the table, the wax stays in place. But where my arms rest, I stack my books, open my journal, move a candle, or pick up my laptop, the wax tells the story.
There’s another kind of lingering I notice every time I walk into the room. Rather than smudges on sleeves and book covers, this is an aroma, faint and delicate. It’s Fireside by Tuscany, or another candle I’ve burned last, and it brings 2 Corinthians 1:15 to mind:
For we are like a sweet-smelling incense offered by Christ to God, which spreads among those who are being saved and those who are being lost.
GNT
What Are You Leaving Behind?
My writing table and remnant candle scent remind me that we’re always, each of us, leaving something behind. Think about the words you’ve hung onto for years. Maybe it was a careless thought, spoken aloud. A name. A label. An expectation. An insufficiency.
Or perhaps it was a kind word. Life-saving advice. A genuine compliment. You’ve never forgotten the moment or how it made you feel.
Intentional or unintended, that message stuck. Either healed a hole or left one.
Kristin Demery, from The Ruth Experience, talks of this in their newest book The One Year Daily Acts of Gratitude Devotional. She begins with a story of a well-timed compliment that helped reframe the way she views herself, even decades later. The question she asks next is one I keep circling back to: “How often do you and I compliment someone to the degree that they begin to believe it about themselves?”
My words don’t always fall out of my mouth the way I intend. Sometimes they’re not read the way I meant them. I’ve missed many opportunities to encourage, over-compensated then worried I sound ingenuine, mismatched my tone and my words. Maybe you have too.
And yet, I want to build others up, speak the sort of words that leave a positive and lasting impression. “Gracious words” described in Proverbs 16:24 as “a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body,” as Kristin points out. I’ll guess it’s the same for you.
“The Bible reminds us that sincere words provide life and vitality,” Kristin writes. She continues,
On good days, they give us an extra dose of confidence. But on the hard days, they can feel like an infusion of living water to our thirsty hearts and souls. Each of us has the power to change what others believe about themselves with just the right remark. Words are life, and when we wield them well, we share that life-giving power with others.
October 25th devotion
If that sounds intimidating, rest in this: You and I may never know how deep our words will reach. But we can still speak them. Trust God with the outcome. Plant encouragement and let Him tend the garden.
If anyone is always timely, it’s God. And if we’re listening, He’ll whisper words someone else might need to hear. Do we know how they will land or how long they’ll be remembered? No. But God does.
Put It Into Practice
As we turn the calendar to November, let’s keep Kristin’s question in mind: “How often do you and I compliment someone to the degree that they begin to believe it about themselves?” But let’s do more than think about it. Let’s put it into practice.
November 1st marks the beginning of the Thank Somebody Challenge, our 5th annual gratitude challenge here at The Uncommon Normal. It’s a chance for you to say thanks to the people who’ve shaped you the most. The ones who’ve given you good advice, a home-cooked meal, their steady presence. The ones who believed in you first, helped you know when to say no and when to try again. The ones who wrote unforgettable songs and life-changing books. The ones who took a chance on you.
Instead of filling our social media feeds with our thanks, this year we’re going to send it direct. To mailboxes and inboxes. Your thank you might look like a text, a handwritten note, a video or audio message, an affirmation written on a mirror or tucked into a lunch box. I hope you’ll have fun with it. And I pray thanking your unsung heros grows your gratitude more than you could ever imagine.
Grab the prompts here. I’ll send them with directions!
Gratitude Leaves Something Behind
Kristin’s question, which I want to come back to one last time, speaks of the ripple-effect nature of gratitude. And I’ve witnessed too how a small thanks can change a habitual thought pattern, a marriage, a person’s health—then ripple wide and change more people’s lives.
Scroll with me through Begin Within: A Gratitude Series, and you’ll find over 150 testimonies of gratitude leaving a lingering effect, similar to yesterday’s candle scent that greets me at my writing desk. If words can keep a light on, as Jennifer Dukes Lee says, I offer these stories to you. I pray, like candle-light in the dead of night, they’ll lend you what you need for your next step forward. (Sign up HERE to get the weekly story in your email inbox.)
Tomorrow Begin Within turns three. To celebrate, I’ve teamed up some of the contributors to offer you a giveaway. Why? Because we want to bless you, and because we want gratitude to change your life too.
Enter by November 3rd for your chance to win one of three prizes:
✨ PRIZE ONE: Gratitude Bundle (to help you cultivate year-round gratitude). $215+ value
✨ PRIZE TWO: Fall Favorites Bundle (to help you enjoy the season). $130+ value
✨ PRIZE THREE: $300 Target Gift Card (to spend as you please)
*** Find The Ruth Experience’s new book, The One Year Daily Acts of Gratitude Devotional HERE!
Just a friend over here in your corner,
P.S. Did you know that The Uncommon Normal is also available as a podcast? Tune in to Apple Podcasts or Spotify to listen!
